Malcolm Owen On July 1, 2002 at 9:32 am

This game can be summed up in a single word. That word may not be nice, nor may it be wonderful, but the single word covers the whole enchilada easily.

I could go on about how a perfectly feasible idea such as Sonic and friends racing around tracks could be so horrifically created, but the word sums it up.

I could say about how even though the game is completely 3D, it’s level design, engine, and actual gameplay, ruins the experience completely, but I won’t. The blockiness and sheer stupidity of visual effects could be drawn out over a good 300 words alone, but the game has put me off so much that a short review would do just as fine.

I could go on and on about the actual racing experience being similar to being beaten to a pulp by half the original cast of Grease via the medium of medieval weaponry, due to it’s bad design and bad controls, but I won’t.

Heck, I would even say bad things about Sega for even unleashing such vile filth upon this pleasant land, forcing all shareholders into revolt against the company, and even causing it to be a news item on CNN, but thanks to this one single word, I can do away with conducting press conferences condoning the acts of the programmers of this game.

I suppose the only thing that the word may not be able to cover effectively is the music associated with it. I fear that this singular adjective cannot describe the gut wrenching feeling that I get when I hear the singer go on about "Super Sonic Racing" and keeping feet on the ground and so forth, but I hope it does.

And this single word? It is a word that you all know, both what it means, and it’s value in society. Are you ready for the word? Ok, here it is:

Crap

There you go. The single word that describes Sonic R the quickest and best. Now we can all go on with our lives…

Gameplay

Crap

Graphics

Crap

Sound

Crap

Overall

Crap…No wait… let me check that…
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